Sam Turton AT HOME
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<-- back to feel


i am my wilderness    sound clip

My feet are broken, but I keep on walkin'
The pain has driven me from my sleep
The streets are shadows, the doors are bolted
No one will come to comfort me

Sleepwalkers raised me, they bent and trained me
To be an actor in their hopeless dream
So I hunted humans in the name of lovin'
But no one could fill that empty need

From that horror I woke up screaming
My body's achin', but it is mine
I go on walking this crackin' pavement
My heart is beating, I am alive

I am my wilderness
I am my freedom
The wild, wild ocean and the mountain stream
I am my wilderness
Garden of Eden
No one can take this away from me

I don't need Science, don't need Religion
There are no experts can interpret for me
Truth is the body, the Cave of Secrets
When you can feel, then you can see

The waiting is over, it's time for living
Swing that axe babe, and I'll lift this pail
My back is willin', my arms are eager
Only our love of life will prevail

I am my wilderness
I am my freedom
The wild, wild ocean and the mountain stream
I am my wilderness
Garden of Eden
No one can take this away from me

So I go on walkin', it doesn't matter
Through smoking cities or meadows of light
There's no salvation in dreams of Heaven
Pain is the lock, the key is your cry

I am my wilderness
I am my freedom
The wild, wild ocean and the mountain stream
I am my wilderness
Garden of Eden
No one can take this away from me
I am my wilderness
I am my freedom
The wild, wild ocean and the mountain stream
I am my wilderness
Garden of Eden
No one can take this away from me


Sam Turton: lead and harmony vocal, acoustic rhythm guitar
Jesse Turton: bass guitar
Peter Grimmer: drums, percussion
Drew McIvor: acoustic piano
Jane Lewis: harmony vocal


commentary

This song is autobiographical—in a metaphoric way. It was written at a time when I was coming out of some heavy personal feeling work and starting, for the first time in my life, to fully feel the sensations of my body—and the world. Up to that point, I had always hoped that some lover, some teacher, or some place would fulfill me. After expressing and resolving a great deal of repressed pain, I came to feel that I was, in fact, the very thing I had been seeking all these years. I believe that the Eden myth actually refers to being exiled from our feelings (the Garden) and that the real quest of all religions is to return to the body that feels them.

This song is about methodically walking forward after a great ordeal. I chose a folk/country approach to express the simple, back-to-land sensibility of that feeling. In order to uplift the mood, the chorus modulates upward and Jane joins me in a rich three-part harmony.